Ed Beers
I am writing this summery of the collective plot/s of the Kingdom Hearts franchise for the benefit of those who either a) have not played the series but wish to lean more about the series if and or when they wish to mock it since there is plenty to mock of it. b), have only played certain games in the series due to a limited number of game systems and money to spend on the games of systems and want a look at what you missed. Or c) played all the games and it just isn't adding up for them. Thank you for your patience with my writing style and for reading this,
Once upon a time, long ago, there was an old man, named Old Man Xehonort. And even longer ago, Old Man Xehonort was once a young Old Man on a journey. He was on a journey to find either a way to keep kids off his lawn, or more exactly something to complain about. He tried to just accept things as they generally were, but seeing how everyone else did that, well he was not one for mob mentality and the like. Through his studies he learned that kids these days take the like for granted. There was once a time when there wasn't so much light in the world, so little that they fought over it.
He liked this idea, he saw it as people being grateful for the like they would have, so, working through his young and middle old age, old man Xehonort tried to remake this 'Keyblade War' he had heard so much about lately. The way the war came about was pretty simple. Even longer ago, there was this big-ol-honkin' door, called surprise surprise, Kingdom Hearts. Like many doors, or at least the doors I'm told to stop trying to open without permission, it had one specific key, which for some absurd or awesome reason was also a sword. It was called the χ-blade, but they called it a Keyblade since that was less stupid, but not by much. And when the Keyblade opened Kingdom Hearts, light spilled out on the giant single world that creation once was. I think they called this event Wednesday, and on Wednesday you better get up early so you could grab yourself some light and rub it all over ya, else you're out of luck.
Well this system of light haves and have nots didn't sit right with, well everyone heck it didn't even sit right with the haves cause of how much effort it was. So all of creation split off into different groups ready to beat the ever livin' Wednesday out of each other. So they looked at the Keyblade, and made their own swords made in the shape of keys and fought over the Keyblade and Kingdom Hearts... And in the process they broke the key and lost the door... Smooth. the Key broke into 20 'pieces', 13 dark keys and 7 light keys, which trust me will be important much later on in the plot... I hope. As for the door, since it was a door to light that no longer had a key it got surrounded by darkness, and that boys and girls is why bad things happen to good people in this universe. Soon enough what little light left in the giant single world that was the universe got swallowed up, but since kids are all pure and happy and blah blah blah, the universe was split into multiple smaller Disney based words cause creation left kids in charge of making it.
Episode 1, end.
He liked this idea, he saw it as people being grateful for the like they would have, so, working through his young and middle old age, old man Xehonort tried to remake this 'Keyblade War' he had heard so much about lately. The way the war came about was pretty simple. Even longer ago, there was this big-ol-honkin' door, called surprise surprise, Kingdom Hearts. Like many doors, or at least the doors I'm told to stop trying to open without permission, it had one specific key, which for some absurd or awesome reason was also a sword. It was called the χ-blade, but they called it a Keyblade since that was less stupid, but not by much. And when the Keyblade opened Kingdom Hearts, light spilled out on the giant single world that creation once was. I think they called this event Wednesday, and on Wednesday you better get up early so you could grab yourself some light and rub it all over ya, else you're out of luck.
Well this system of light haves and have nots didn't sit right with, well everyone heck it didn't even sit right with the haves cause of how much effort it was. So all of creation split off into different groups ready to beat the ever livin' Wednesday out of each other. So they looked at the Keyblade, and made their own swords made in the shape of keys and fought over the Keyblade and Kingdom Hearts... And in the process they broke the key and lost the door... Smooth. the Key broke into 20 'pieces', 13 dark keys and 7 light keys, which trust me will be important much later on in the plot... I hope. As for the door, since it was a door to light that no longer had a key it got surrounded by darkness, and that boys and girls is why bad things happen to good people in this universe. Soon enough what little light left in the giant single world that was the universe got swallowed up, but since kids are all pure and happy and blah blah blah, the universe was split into multiple smaller Disney based words cause creation left kids in charge of making it.
Episode 1, end.
