Kingdom Hearts Plot Summery Episode 1: The Phantom Premise

Ed Beers

I am writing this summery of the collective plot/s of the Kingdom Hearts franchise for the benefit of those who either a) have not played the series but wish to lean more about the series if and or when they wish to mock it since there is plenty to mock of it. b), have only played certain games in the series due to a limited number of game systems and money to spend on the games of systems and want a look at what you missed. Or c) played all the games and it just isn't adding up for them. Thank you for your patience with my writing style and for reading this,

Once upon a time, long ago, there was an old man, named Old Man Xehonort. And even longer ago, Old Man Xehonort was once a young Old Man on a journey. He was on a journey to find either a way to keep kids off his lawn, or more exactly something to complain about. He tried to just accept things as they generally were, but seeing how everyone else did that, well he was not one for mob mentality and the like. Through his studies he learned that kids these days take the like for granted. There was once a time when there wasn't so much light in the world, so little that they fought over it.

He liked this idea, he saw it as people being grateful for the like they would have, so, working through his young and middle old age, old man Xehonort tried to remake this 'Keyblade War' he had heard so much about lately. The way the war came about was pretty simple. Even longer ago, there was this big-ol-honkin' door, called surprise surprise, Kingdom Hearts. Like many doors, or at least the doors I'm told to stop trying to open without permission, it had one specific key, which for some absurd or awesome reason was also a sword. It was called the χ-blade, but they called it a Keyblade since that was less stupid, but not by much. And when the Keyblade opened Kingdom Hearts, light spilled out on the giant single world that creation once was. I think they called this event Wednesday, and on Wednesday you better get up early so you could grab yourself some light and rub it all over ya, else you're out of luck.

Well this system of light haves and have nots didn't sit right with, well everyone heck it didn't even sit right with the haves cause of how much effort it was. So all of creation split off into different groups ready to beat the ever livin' Wednesday out of each other. So they looked at the Keyblade, and made their own swords made in the shape of keys and fought over the Keyblade and Kingdom Hearts... And in the process they broke the key and lost the door... Smooth. the Key broke into 20 'pieces', 13 dark keys and 7 light keys, which trust me will be important much later on in the plot... I hope. As for the door, since it was a door to light that no longer had a key it got surrounded by darkness, and that boys and girls is why bad things happen to good people in this universe. Soon enough what little light left in the giant single world that was the universe got swallowed up, but since kids are all pure and happy and blah blah blah, the universe was split into multiple smaller Disney based words cause creation left kids in charge of making it.

Episode 1, end.

Solo-Cast 1: Now with 100% Less Pandas

I, Ed Beers, would like to apologize for SEVERAL things bout this podcast. 1, sorry for the poor quality of the audio, still figuring the exacts out for using my handheld camera's mic in place of the profession mics the team proper uses. 2, I want to apologize for trying to do a solo pod-cast at near 3 am in the morning... That's just a bad idea all together even if you're nocturnal. 3, sorry for how lack luster the news I reported on was. And lastly, I apologize for me recording it Saturday evening and Sunday morning and only getting this all up by Tuesday. Do try to enjoy

The Wii U-Have got to be kiding me

Ed Beers

Well, it was bound to happen, Ed Beers here again with the news we would have up on a LUG-Cast but well, life keeps happening, hard. So, to try and keep up with gaming news (nearly) as it comes out. And the news of the moment is, of course, the Wii U finally having a price point and release date... Joy.

Nintendo announced this Thursday that the Wii U will be coming to stores this year, November 18th in the US, December 8th in Japan. It will come in two different packs, one bare bones 300 dollar pack that comes with the system, the gamepad, 8 gigs of internal flash memory, and all the cords you need to plug it in. The other pack is a 350 dollar pack, with 32 gigs instead of 8, comes with the series of mini-games full of reference to games you wish were in the launch titles Nintendo Land, and gives you a 10% digital discount on online purchases till 2014. Though they have not spoken to how much additional gamepads will cost in the US, there is a estimated cost in Japan roughly around 180 dollars US, but there isn't much worry over that since there's no talk yet of games that will use multiple pads for gimmicky I mean original inspired gameplay.

Now the box itself, from what I understand, the inner workings of the Wii U are suppose to be better, faster, and hold more than the aging last leg consoles PS3 and 360. That might be true, I would have several ways of checking that if any of the info on what's inside the box was confirmed, could compare and contrast like people have done with the image above of Arkham City Vs Arkham City: Armored Edition or whatever fancy name they've given it. I'll try to be fair and wait for actual fully finished gameplay for me to compare when it does come out, but till then, well consider what a internally powerful juggernaut the Wii failed to be I feel justified in my disbelief.

The system will be using at least single layered Blu-ray discs for their games which at least means we won't have another format war. However it feels that having the box play actual DVDs or Blu-rays just would detract from the true gaming focused machine that it is... Right... So tell me then Nintendo, more about this TVii program you are so proud of. That's right the Wii U will have a 'free service' that allows you to watch on your TV or on your gamepad shows from other services you already pay for, like Hulu, Netflix, or even TV recorded onto your home DVR... But nah having it play DVDs would just, you know, distract you from how game focused they are now.

I, have to be honest I do not get a lot of things about all of this. Why is it coming out in the US near a month before? Why does it not come out with any games (that are likely to be around 60 dollars per)? Why does it not come with any wii-motes or nunchucks which you may or may not need for many of these games? Do they think only people who bought a Wii will buy a Wii U? Do they not want new people to join in? Why do they not want their machine playing DVDs and Blu-ray discs but are fine with video and TV streaming? Why are people drooling over the idea of spending 300 to 350 plus tax on a system without a single REAL game? ... No I do not think of Nintendo Land as a real game. I mean sure, there's the whole talk of Bayonneta 2 coming to the system exclusively, but there's barely anything else that isn't just a specialized port of a pre-existing PS3 or 360 title. I don't get wanting a version of Tekken Tag Tournament 2 where you can grab a mushroom and grow giant, the game's as bizarre as is with devils and orges flying around fighting bears. I mean I didn't really enjoy what they tried to do with the Wii, but I at least understood what they were going for, what they were trying to do. I don't even have that advantage to explaining the Wii U. I don't get the price or what Nintendo is trying to do with this... I don't hope that it does badly but I'm not actively rooting for it, sorry Ten-dog, We've been tight for a long time but, I just don't get this.

I think I'm Over(strike) Fuse, and it's not even here.

Ed Beers

Hey, it's me, you're buddy. Say, remember that new Insomniac game being published by EA? That silly action filled looking trailer a couple E3s ago? And it had that quirky feel to it, looked like if The Incredibles met TF2 they got drunk and made a beautiful looking baby. Yea you remember, Overstrike 9, everyone was looking forward to more news about it last E3 and were disappointed that there wasn't any. Well now there's new news, a new title, and most disappointingly, a new more generic look.

If you think you notice a bit of a difference between this trailer to what you may recall from the old trailer way back at E3 2011, well, you're not wrong. While the earlier trailer didn't give any exact gameplay, we felt it gave us a sense of what to expect. True more realistic look than Ratchet and Clank, but not as serious and trying to find it's footing as Resistance. Something smooth, kind of retro evil genius style to things... And what are we given over a year later? A trailer that to me looks no different than every other third person run around with friends shooting things games. I trust that, since it's Insomniac there should at least be decent weapons, but this trailer feels, lacking. Feels as if the quirkiness and silly feel as been ripped out for generic one-liners and machismo. With any luck the visuals will change around, the gameplay will be more interesting, and once we actually hear characters talk there will be that charm we know from the game makers... Or we get another EA game that could have been awesome.

Final Fantasy 13-3: 3rd times the charm

We yet live! Thanks to all of you for staying with us during this dry spell. Ed Beers AKA Jake here with a video game news update. Straight from Japan just as they're celebrating 25 years of Final Fantasy... dear lord I feel old... On September 1st the people at Square Enix reveal that yet another sequel to Final Fantasy 13, the FF that everyone wanted but near no one was pleased with, is currently in production. Titled "Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13", you are put in control of everyone's grumpiest Final Fantasy lead this side of Squall, Lightning. However, as oppose to the usual 40-60 hours of story and wandering and side quests, they've gone for a more Majora's Mask approach and have given you 13 days before the world ends.

Yes it seems, that along with 13-2's focus on time travel, as well as their 'once you get past the first 20 hours of gameplay it gets really good' experience in FF 13, time seems to be the focal point of this number entry in the series. Papa Final Fantasy 8 would be so proud. Though I have yet to see exactly how those days pass, wither it's in real or game time and if time passes even when you aren't playing, I have to express my general confusion and frustration at Square for yet again adding a time limit to one's gaming. For more on that subject, feel free to read my less than kind review of Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance.

Course they aren't just telling us 'oh, well, you have to see how fast you can level up and save the world in 13-ish days'. They are trying to expand on the time system to better use, such as having a monorail system between towns that runs on a time table, that certain people or groups only come out during certain times of day, and of course the ability to reverse time through achieving goals such as monster killing. Personally, I have never been one to enjoy the prospect of a ticking clock over my head reminding me of how much I've wasted wandering about enjoying the view. While I'm always for the release of more games from one of my childhood favorite developers, I can't help but worry that they're much more found of Lightning and the Final Fantasy 13 series than any of their fans are.

Still, with the promise of a more action based gameplay style, rumors of Lightning being able to hang from cliffs or dodge around corners, as well as having full control over her moments during battles, things could be much worse. Guess we'll just have to wait for this year's Tokyo Game Show for a better idea of how this game will or won't work.

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance Review

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance Review

By: Ed Beers

Fans of the series who have yet to play Birth By Sleep may not want to read this review, since I will make several semi spoiler references to the game as jokes and the like.

Fans of the Kingdom Heart, spoiler alert it does not reveal when Kingdom Hearts 3 may come out. But fret not, this is still a nice story tease to keep you interested until they release either a remake of an earlier game or number of games, or amazingly actually get a release date for KH3. Sure you'd have to put up with an absurd time limit system, constant pet care to improve your stats and abilities, mostly lackluster ally AI, Disney and Square characters only making cameos and not in your battle teams, poorly rushed through Disney plots so you aren't distracted with any annoying interest for too long, and a new movement system that makes fighting a bit chaotic and platforming puzzles to find hidden treasure pointless, but least the Kingdom Hearts story and all of it's totally not yaoi baiting gets advanced.

The story picks up after the team received the newest canon rewrites from Birth by Sleep. Our favorite characters we are forced to play as, Sora and Riku, are brought to Yen Sid's tower in order to be given a special kind of test, to be given the Mark of Mastery, since for whenever KH 3 happens they'll need as many Keyblade masters they can get to face evil Lenard Nimoy (Xehonort). What's so different about this test? It's set in the dreams of worlds that weren't brought back from the darkness at the end of KH1/couldn't fit into KH2. And before you can say Inception, they're in, just in time for things to go horribly wrong.

The new monsters introduced into this world, are called dream eaters, which come in two types. Nightmares, that 'eat' happy dreams, (though it's never explained what that means or does) and Spirits, which makes up your other two team members are just color swaps of the nightmares, and 'eat' nightmares and Nightmares. And as far as allies go, they make me miss Goofy and Donald. Not only do they simply squeak and trill to 'speak' and means the writers don't need to worry about extra dialog, the combat AI seemed to think 'well you know, you've got this under control it's all good'. More than once after trudging through a hard won battle, I'd looked down to the bottom screen to see my Dream Eaters are stuck all the way on the other side of the map, despite their power to just teleport next to you if they fall too far behind. Course that's just how annoying they are in battle, outside of battle you're expected to pet them, poke them, take photos of them, play with them, feed them, train them. These Spirits are your pets, as well as your set of stat and ability boosts. For the more you take care of these little boat anchors, the more points you get to unlock special attacks, spells, items, or boosts like attack haste or defense boost and so on.

To try and balance out these sometimes screen filling, walking into walls allies they also give you a flashy, bouncing around, sometimes puzzle breaking style of movement and combat gameplay, called flowmotion. With it you're suppose to get around the stage more quickly so you won't worry as much about the 'drop system' time limit. It also allows you to bounce off a wall or certain polls around the stage to go into a special flashy attack to do even more damage to enemies near by. What it does it makes going up the side of buildings without having to find some secret trick or jump you're suppose to pull off to get there, or dodge some attacks a lot easier than the game might have wanted it to be.

You my have noticed I mentioned something called the Drop System. Well, instead of swapping you between the two main characters, or have you play through one character's story and then the other as the story progresses, you are forced to swap mid game, mid puzzle, mid battle even, between wherever one character is, to where the other was last you dropped out as it was. It decreases at a set amount, and you can buy items to 'heal' your drop gauge, but also if you're hit with certain statue effects or certain attacks, the rate it will drop will increase to an insane amount. I suppose it makes sense in the greater scheme of the story they're telling, but I feel it's one of the stupider things to add in a game next to having a stock set of lives in a game. Or having the game be playable in 3D which still makes no sense to me it doesn't change a thing as far as I can tell.

I've put down a lot of the things they've added into the game, but that's mainly because I felt it got in my way of actually getting through the game to enjoy the story, since I felt it actually did what most long running series fail to; it filled in plot holes. Ever wonder why mister hoodie was there at Destiny Island all those years ago in KH1? That's explained. Ever wonder why the emotionless Nobodies were so angry and sad about their lacks of emotions? That's important enough to be addressed. Why do I spend so much time wearing a digital watch? ... Well no it doesn't answer that it's just concerned about the nagging KH questions. I mean sure they make a couple smaller plot wholes, but they're still answering the questions a fan would care about. I just wish it played better.

The League of Undirected Geeks Podcast Episode 1 - Here We Go!

The League of Undirected Geeks Podcast Episode 1 - Here We Go! by Undirected Geeks


Welcome to the first episode of the League of Undirected Geeks Podcast. This week we get things started right by doing introductions, short news stories, and a round table discussion that quickly goes off rails. Like what you hear? Want to hear us talk about something else? Want to see a different direction for the podcast? Leave us your thoughts either below in the comments or at -

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